After getting drilled in the helmet by a R.A. Dickey knuckleball, Mike Napoli follows through on his monstrous 451-foot home run at Rogers Centre. (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Chris Young) Video: Napoli Beaned, Homers into Fifth Deck in 7-Run 11th Inning for Red Sox Xander Bogaerts striking out (Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports) Struggling Season Continues for Xander Bogaerts Logan Mankins is heading to Tampa Bay for TE Tim Wright and a draft pick. (Getty Images) Report: Patriots Trade Logan Mankins to Tampa Bay Jon Lester (Ezra Shaw, Getty Images) Red Sox Have Decisions to Make and Money to Spend this Off-Season

Beware, Niche Celebrities!

Farrah Fawcett

It all started with Ed McMahon.  When the famous TV sidekick died last Tuesday, it was a sad moment, especially if you were old enough to remember him beside Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show.  But, what the hell, these things happen, the man was 86 years old.  Little did we know, that McMahon’s death was but the vanguard of a dark hour.

That famous picture of Farrah Fawcett always made me a little nervous, because it’s both hot and old enough to be something my dad could have uhh…well you know… (Okay, I’m sorry Dad!)  I know nothing about this woman, other than the fact that she had kinky blond hair and a nice body and was one of the original Charlie’s Angels.  But she followed in the doleful footsteps of Ed McMahon, dying on Thursday.

Next to go was the big one: Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, the Jesus Juicer (hear that, Johnny Damon?) died later that same day of cardiac arrest. The mass media had what can only be described as a group orgasm (groupgasm?  TVgasm?) and there is, unsurprisingly, speculation that drugs were a factor in Jacko’s death.  The event perceptibly slowed down the entire internet.  It quickly pushed Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett — and perhaps more importantly, the Iranian election protests — out of the public eye, to say nothing of S.C. Governor Mark Sanford’s Latin lover.

I think, as far as fame is concerned, we’re on the down slope, but the news is still not good: I regret to inform Sports of Boston’s readers that Billy Mays — the Jim Rice of the infomercial — died Sunday at the age of 50.  Sports fans may remember that he appeared recently in a series of self-parodying ads for ESPN.

The cause of death is, as of yet, unknown, but it’s a bad sign. I’m glad to hear that Jerry Remy appears to be on the mend, because I’d have been plenty worried otherwise.

So, if you’re kind of famous, or famous only among a certain group of people, or were famous a long time ago, watch out!  Angelina Jolie will keep on keeping on, but there’s doom in the air for you people further down the celebrity food chain.

About Jon

I used to get along with Cubs fans so much better before 2004. What gives?

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One comment for “Beware, Niche Celebrities!”

  1. [...] July 2, 2009 at 1:35pm ⋅ Post a comment I realize that I’ve already written about the demise of Michael Jackson, among others, but what I didn’t tell you before is that there is a peculiar link between our New England [...]

    Posted by Bob Kraft is a Smooth Criminal | Sports of Boston | July 2, 2009, 1:37 pm

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