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A huge swarm of bees delayed a game in San Diego on Thursday, and even though you just did, you really didn’t need to read that sentence again. It happened, I swear. I would have thought that that many bees would have delayed the game a lot longer than an hour, but modern beekeeping is highly advanced.
It is, of course, not the first time. Remember “the bug game?” I certainly do. It was really hard not to enjoy Joba the Hutt (HO HO HO, SOLO) getting devoured by swarming insects. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, as they say. But, I do worry about it happening to less deserving players.
At Fenway, I figure the biggest danger is from a rag-tag mob of scruffy seagulls and pigeons, fired by a lust for Fenway Franks. I can just picture them all straggling over the Monster in a diseased avian wave, stealing snacks and immobilizing a luckless Jason Bay, who emerges, feather-strewn and clearly shaken, to give a press conference. (Dustin Pedroia, needless to say, will make fun of him.) Jacoby Ellsbury was also threatened, but was able to easily outrun the oncoming horde. Bay was spared serious injury by the quick thinking of teammate Kevin Youkilis, who, though he wielded it in a seriously bizarre manner, used an official W.B. Mason shotgun to startle the swarming birds.
J.D. Drew was reported injured in the incident, though no witnesses could recall any birds coming anywhere near him. The birds avoided the Red Sox bullpen after being savagely glared at by Jonathan Papelbon.
Frankly, I’m worried. Hide your snacks!