What’s that, Lassie? Michael Vick is Coming to the Patriots?

By Jon in Featured, Opinion, Patriots, Rumors ⋅ July 22, 2009 at 4:02pm ⋅ Post a comment

Sometimes, even the most acid-tongued, sour-mouthed cynics have to step back, scratch their heads, and go, “Whoa, that’s some coincidence.” I started reading The Hound of the Baskervilles on the same day that somebody told me that Michael Vick might sign for the Patriots. That’s wicked strange.

I think that’s a really, really bad idea. For one thing, he was wildly overrated when he was actually playing, and for another, he hasn’t played football in awhile. You know, because he’s been in jail. I know, I know, they work out on the yard all the time, but pro football is a different game than handball with Aaron the Aryan. For yet another thing, he’s not really a quarterback. Sure, he kind of knows how to throw the ball, but he’s really a walking trick play: He’s a running back/wide receiver with an arm.

All right, say the yahoos who actually want Vick, but he’s not going to supplant Tom Brady, he’s going to be a specialist; an extra receiver or back who can run trick plays! Dogsh*t, I say. The Patriots’ offense is way, way too good to be spending money on weird extra options like that. And don’t pretend that Vick’s not going to demand some serious money. If anything, the Pats need help on the other side of the ball. The guy’s versatile, but not that versatile, people.

On the other hand, it might draw some PETA protesters to Gillette, and they’re always fun to mess with. Try asking one the following: “If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made of meat?” Sometimes they turn the color of raw beef if you do it right. This would also make tailgating a lot more fun: “Heeere, veggie veggie veggie…”

I might be biased, because I still think he’s a despicable asshole, but even from a pure football perspective, what on earth would the Patriots want with this guy? I’d rather see him on some other team, so that I can watch the Patriots defense smear him all over the field. The Patriots need Michael Vick like Jon and Kate need eight more. Give me a break.

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About Jon

I used to get along with Cubs fans so much better before 2004. What gives?

Tags: Michael Vick, Patriots

Discussion

13 comments for “What’s that, Lassie? Michael Vick is Coming to the Patriots?”

Serious money? Vick will be lucky to get anything more than a 1 year 1 million dollar contract ANYWHERE. The guy is a true athlete who was one hell of a football player. He did his time, unlike most; Ray Lewis, Donte’ Stallworth, Leonard Little. Those players killed human beings and got less than what Vick did to a damn dog.

Anyway him to NE is stupid and it won’t happen. But he will sign on to a team and I’m confident when I say that he will have some success.

Posted by Matt | July 22, 2009, 5:42 pm
In my opinion… I think Vick should be reinstated, but can only join one team, the Cleveland Browns… so he is forced to be part of the dog pound… poetic justice…

Posted by Teddy | July 22, 2009, 5:59 pm
Aaron the Aryan hahahahah.

I agree with you Matt. Vick did his time and lost ALL of his money and then some (he’s bankrupt). I think he deserves his shot…

Posted by KC | July 22, 2009, 6:07 pm
Ray Lewis was actually acquitted of the charges so technically he did not kill those two people…

Posted by Dave | July 22, 2009, 11:15 pm
Techincally, O.J. Simpson didn’t murder Nicole Brown Simpson or Ron Goldman either…

Posted by KC | July 23, 2009, 5:59 am
[...] By krazzouk in Featured, Patriots ⋅ July 23, 2009 at 3:00pm ⋅ Post a comment The possibility of Michael Vick being re-instated in the NFL has been a hot topic lately. Currently, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is in the process of [...]

Posted by Anyone Want to Take a Bite Out of Michael Vick? | Sports of Boston | July 23, 2009, 3:02 pm
[...] Michael Vick is a Patriot, right? Wait just a second. Vick, according to the AP, was at a bankruptcy court hearing…in [...]

Posted by Michael Vick Visits Patriots? Not Yet… | Sports of Boston | July 31, 2009, 6:40 pm
WILDLY OVERRATED, and murdering thug. A good arm? How would anyone know? He never throws the ball. And by the way Matt, there is a difference between willful cruelty and a mistake i.e. Dante Stallworth. As far as Ray Lewis, he too is a total loser who should not be allowed to play.The N.F.L. is going to end up like the thug ridden N.B.A. of the late 90s if it’s not careful.

Posted by Katherine | August 1, 2009, 7:52 pm
i think mamia should sign him i think thats a better fit for him with the wild cat offense

Posted by vick should play | August 6, 2009, 7:38 pm
Katherine, Donte Stallworth got behind a vehicle both drunk and high. Lets not make him sound like an angel who was driving home from work.

Posted by Matt Marcantonio | August 7, 2009, 2:46 am
nobody ever talks about the hockey player who played for the Atlanta Thrashers that killed his bestfriend in a car accident while driving drunk. No MADD representatives talking bad about him. Not a day in jail. Still played hockey and all. I can also tell most you guys have never played the game of football and have no understanding of the sport.

Posted by jc | August 12, 2009, 2:15 am
I hereby nominate the above comment for the SoB nonsense hall of fame.

Posted by Jon | August 12, 2009, 12:32 pm
[...] Featured, Patriots, Top Story ⋅ August 14, 2009 at 5:34am ⋅ Post a comment So, all those rumors about the Patriots acquiring disgraced NFL quarterback Michael Vick were unfound and untrue. [...]

Posted by Michael Vick Signs with Eagles | Sports of Boston | August 14, 2009, 5:34 am