|Pedro Martinez Number Retired, Fenway Celebrates||(David) Price is Wrong for Red Sox||Small Deals Can Make a Big Impact on the Red Sox||Robert Kraft Slams League Office in Defense of Tom Brady; Belichick Moves On|
I just read this on Deadspin, which is generally excellent. It’s by Drew Magary, who is also generally excellent. What do you think are the odds that the article, exhibit number 85,782 in the case of Drew’s irrational hatred of all things Massachusetts, is a pointless screed about how we Red Sox fans are naive and self-regarding? Nevertheless.
He cites an admittedly bizarre Boston Globe piece that quotes a lot of people having perfectly normal reactions to the news of David Ortiz’s positive test. The article makes the mistake of interpreting this as some kind of sudden disillusionment with Big Papi, which Drew seizes upon eagerly. As though all of New England is suddenly weeping and gnashing their teeth because of the abrupt downfall of a local hero. As though we’re all walking around with black armbands on, where “real” (read: Non-Boston) fans would receive such news with the quiet dignity and reason that sports fans everywhere are known for.
I think, all things considered, that the reaction has been anything but naive. Sure, people are pissed and disappointed, but hardly anybody was caught completely off-guard. Hoping that Papi wasn’t a steroid user isn’t the same as believing that he isn’t, and I don’t think anyone but a few idiots truly believed in their heart of hearts that the big guy was steroid-free.
The piece is mostly just a place for Drew to rehash the same Boston stereotype jokes that he’s already flogged to death on Deadspin and his own blog, kissingsuzykolber: We talk funny! We’re racists! We think we’re the best fans on earth! Ha ha, tell us more, Drew! Maybe something about how we say things are “wicked pissah!” That never gets old! Do we park cars in Harvard Yard, as well? I bow before your superior wit, sir!
Seriously, the guy’s a great writer and I frequently laugh my nuts off at his articles, but this? F**k you, Drew. I don’t know why, exactly, you have this giant hard-on for Boston’s sports teams and their fans, and I really couldn’t give the tiniest shit. But don’t pretend it’s anything other than irrational hatred and bile. Unless maybe you’re a little bit jealous of all the recent successes. Who could blame a Vikings fan for that? Sorry about Favre seeing his shadow and deciding not to come out of retirement and further demolish his legacy, by the way. Enjoy Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels. (See what I did there? I shat all over the Vikings, not Vikings fans.)
Here’s the point: Any fan worth the name, of any team anywhere, thinks that their team is special. They like their team better than the other teams. That’s what being a f**king fan is, genius. And if you think Boston fans are different anything but the smallest degree, you’re out of your f**king mind.