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What, Me Worry? Sox Sweep to 8-1 Victory Over Jays

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At the outset, it looked to be another example of the maddening inconsistency plaguing Boston baseball. The Red Sox went quietly in the top of the first, and the Jays drew first blood, against no less a personage than lefty assassin Jon Lester. “Oh god,” I thought after three innings, “we may have tied the game, but we also managed to get a measly run from first and second with nobody out.” I could see horrible vistas of the rest of the game; more men left on base, more chances squandered, and a decent but underwhelming performance from Toronto starter Brett Cecil sufficing to deny the Red Sox a badly-needed road sweep.

I shouldn’t have worried. Lester was electrifying the rest of the way, pitching eight innings of three-hit, one-run ball. And after the first of J.D. Drew’s homers tied the game in the third, the Red Sox offense exploded for seven more, including Drew’s second, a two-run blast to right, and a truly monstrous solo shot from Victor Martinez. Boston scored at least a run in six of nine innings, winning 8-1. As the English would say, that’s a bit more like it, right? Now give us a pint, you wanker.

Sox Stud of the Game

J.D. Drew just edges Jon Lester for this one, mostly for novelty value, but it’s tough to argue with two home runs and three knocked in.

Sox Dud of the Game

I can’t, in good conscience, give this to anybody. Both Sox pitchers were excellent, and nobody in the lineup went without either a hit or an RBI. No duds here.

That’s What he Said

“I promise never to call him Nancy Drew again.” SoB blogger Jon, around 10:00 p.m. EST. (Courtesy sportsofboston.com)

Notes:

  • Seriously, Martinez’s home run was SMOKED. He hit the holy piss out of that one. The best part is, it bounced off some Canadian jerk’s luxury box. Wake up, f**ker, there’s a pennant race going on for some of us!

About Jon

I used to get along with Cubs fans so much better before 2004. What gives?

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