usa-today-8162398.0 Rounding Out Patriots Day Three NFL Draft Action MIAMI GARDENS, FL - JANUARY 01:  Tre' Jackson #54 of the Florida State Seminoles walks on the field against the Northern Illinois Huskies during the Discover Orange Bowl at Sun Life Stadium on January 1, 2013 in Miami Gardens, Florida.  (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images) Patriots Select Three in Round Four, Including (Finally) two Guards p-6-13-3.jpg Patriots Select Jordan Richards, Geneo Grissom; Make Trade on Day 2 of Draft A-Rod took advantage of the Red Sox bullpen to hit home run #660 to tie Willie Mays for fourth on the all-time home run list and give the Yankees a 3-2 win. (NY Daily News) Yankees 3, Red Sox 2: A-Rod Ties Willie Mays on All-Time HR List in Tale of Two Bullpens

Tiger Woods Wins Associated Playa’s Playa of the Year Award

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

The Associated Playas, the planet’s largest organization of pimps and playas – as well as nymphos and maneaters, since the recent Supreme Court decision – is proud to offer its Playa of the Year award to none other than Tiger Woods, whose masterful swinging of the wood has inspired us all to reach greater heights of playa-hood.

This playa, freak hos and gentlemen, has style. Woods successfully kept his expert playing of the field on the DL for years, maintaining his sterling public image – and maximizing the size of the field in which he could sow his wild oats.

And sow he did. The width and breadth of fly honeys through which Woods went like a sex-crazed harpoon through the side of a smokin’ hot whale is both impressive and becomes still more impressive every day.

The truly inspirational extent to which this playa got around offers a brilliant beacon for all playadom to emulate: We must, in the future, endeavor to reach the lofty standards set by Woods and enjoy the pleasures that he has shown us how to achieve.

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I used to get along with Cubs fans so much better before 2004. What gives?

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