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TGIF: ‘Twas The Night Before Fantasy Football

Matt Forte

This season, like most for me, has been full of ups and downs. It is in my opinion that fantasy football is the toughest to prepare for. The players are more likely to get injured in this sport than any other, the season only lasts 17 weeks, and the only consistent thing about this game is Adrian Peterson.

What hasn’t happened in my brief history of writing about fantasy sports is that the timing of my articles has never fallen on Christmas day. So, I now present to you my feelings about the 2009 fantasy football season in the form of a traditional Christmas story. God, I hope you enjoy!

‘Twas the night before draft day, and we were in a bind.
“Who do I take in round one?”, was on our minds.
The thought of drafting Matt Forte went through our heads.
You should have drafted Chris Johnson with that pick instead.
LT couldn’t deliver, even as the 10th pick.
Even worse were Jay Cutler’s interceptions, enough to make you sick.
How about that Steve Slaton? He can make any defense crumble.
Too bad his arms are made of Crisco, which caused all those fumbles.
Eddie Royal couldn’t match his stellar rookie season.
And Jake Delhomme had a starting job, for no apparent reason.
Vince Young won six in a row, after he took the starting job.
While every Matt Cassel owner, couldn’t help but sob.
Fred Jackson helped the Bills, when they were in a pinch.
He was clearly their best back, but still lost carries to Marshawn Lynch.
Mike Sims-Walker was a surprise fantasy stud.
Unlike Terrell Owens, who shockingly became a dud.
Miles Austin shocked us all, with stellar receiving stats.
While Pittsburgh’s defense, abandoned ship like rats.
Drew Brees was awesome, there is no surprise there.
While Browns’ QB’s looked like they didn’t care.
If you were lucky, you drafted Ray Rice.
Too bad you chose Clinton Portis, who was nowhere near as nice.
The Lions are boasting one of the worst defenses in the game.
And Calvin Johnson’s stats were nothing short of lame.
I drafted some Raiders, and had to be put in restraints.
I could have made things easy, and drafted anyone on the Saints.
While my season was bad, I think I learned a lesson.
Pray you land Adrian Peterson, and never leave yourself guessin’.
So here’s to next season, and hoping we can make things right.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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