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May is here in force, and the Red Sox are not. At this point, the Sox are less entertaining than the episode of “Flavor of Love” where the girl made stool on the floor. It really happened; google it. Anyhow, the season’s progressing quite nicely, and once again the American League is much better than the National League; the best NL team is only fourth best overall. And the first perfect game to be thrown against the best team in the league happened on Mother’s Day. Dallas Braden’s grandma actually told A-Rod to “stick it.” Who knew grandmas were so good at telling people what they thought without thinking of the consequences? This means President Grandma will come about in 2012. Just as the Mayans predicted. While I still have some semblance of reality left in me, let’s look at what would happen if the playoffs started as of Monday, May 10 before the day’s games:
The Redbirds are the first NL team to make it to 20 wins. The Giants have been struggling a bit to hold leads. If you can’t keep a lead for Lincecum, then you’re not going to win this series. Not with Carpenter, Wainwright, and Penny leading the way. Plus, San Fran doesn’t have Albert Pujols, who hits like his bat is on steroids.
The Philly Phanatic is phlying into phirst, and my spell-check just killed itself. Just 0.5 games behind the Cardinals, Doc and Co. are almost there. The Padres were there, but they lost Sunday. The Phillies’ pitching staff is starting to remold, and if Ryan Howard can start hitting like his old self, they’ll have no problem contending for their third straight world series. Though Adrian Gonzalez and a pretty good rotation in San Diego’s own right will make it a grueling round. And Chase Utley sounds like an action hero instead of a ball player.
The last two perfect games were thrown against the Rays, but they’ll have many games to reprove their worth. But Texas has won their last four games, and now has a full 1.0 game lead over Oakland and that pompous punk Dallas Braden, who really does sound like a Texas weatherman. If the Rays can prove their worth against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California of the United States of Earth of the Milky Way of the Universe of the Five Dimensional Black Hole (the math supports the last one as feasible, really), they’ll be capable of winning again. If not, we’ll see. And if not, how could you lose to a team that got swept in four by the Red Sox?
The Big Bad Mauer is back, and Burnett has left the building. Both teams actually have 21 wins, which makes the Twins’ home-field-advantage-despite-a-worse-record not so unfair. To that end, the Twins had better hope for a second rainout in 30 years to snap C.C. Sabathia’s momentum again. Overall, expect this to be a series of run support, which the defending champs will probably have more of once Granderson is back. Of course, three C.C.s of Sabathia couldn’t hurt either. (Yes, that was a medical joke.)