|The Mishandled Career of Jackie Bradley Jr.||Monday Afternoon Rewind: Patriots vs Eagles||Celtics Should Continue Patient Approach to Rebuilding Process||Connelly’s Top Ten: Red Sox vs. Paint Drying|
You’re used to seeing these things on our site for books every once in awhile. But for the first time ever, you’re being treated to a song review. And I can’t think of a better song than one specifically about Boston sports, past and present. I am speaking of course about “Beantown,” from the 2005 album “You Can’t See Me,” by WWE Superstar and Massachusetts native John Cena, and his cousin Tha Trademarc. If you’re not into hip hop (or wrestling for that matter), don’t worry, we won’t blame you for not being familiar with this piece of music. The song in question also features Boston rapper Esoteric, and the album features guest spots from Bumpy Knuckles.
But enough with the intros; I’m sure you’re all interested in hearing about the Boston icons featured in the song. You know the song will be good when it promises to “hit one-two like Manny-Ortiz.” John Cena is the first of three artists to come in with the above reference, and plenty others. I don’t want to completely give away the lyrics, though you could find them anywhere if you really want. One of my favorites, though, has to be, “Like Tom Brady and the Pats, we’re rolling kids; Cross me and pay a toll like the Tobin Bridge.” It is Tom Brady Season, after all. Or maybe it’s duck and/or rabbit season. You’ll also get reference to Kevin McHale, Carl Yastrzemski, the Green Line, and the Green Monster. It’s a great tune, really catchy, and about the rich history of Boston sports. But what else can you expect from John Cena? Like the Big Dig, nobody can finish him.
The song continues with Tha Trademarc, who keeps things going with more Tom Brady, and some Deion Branch thrown in for good measure. And what would the song be without shout-outs to all of Boston’s area codes (if it works for Rey Mysterio and San Diego’s 619, it works for Boston’s 617) and a pot-shot at T.O? As Trademarc will tell you, “What now? You say titan’s your rep; That’s like Peyton winning big games out on Gillette. We don’t forget you all, we’re keeping it grimy; had the Steel Curtain looking like venetian blinds.” We’ll get to see both of those things (hopefully) happen this year. GO PATS!!!
Next up is the song’s final verse, brought to you by Esoteric. After giving a shout-out to Fanueil Hall and Nomah, Jason Varitek’s glove gets the love. Curt Schilling’s bloody shot and Larry Bird’s set shot get their dues as well. Plenty of legends are well-represented and honored in lyrical fashion, as Esoteric kindly presents, “Steadily poetically I’m Bill Russell in command; peace to Dorcester, Roxbury, Mattapan.” Nice to see the local neighborhoods getting their due as well.
So there you have a pretty good idea of what the song is like. It doesn’t even have the heavy beat hip hop detractors usually don’t like; the song is pretty upbeat, actually. “Beantown” and the parent album “You Can’t See Me” are available anywhere music is sold. Granted, Cena is no Cleveland Jr. or Stephen Colbert, but he is pretty good.