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Fantasy Football Report: Week 14

David Garrard

Well, the Sports of Boston football league has hit the playoffs. I missed out despite having the league’s 2nd highest point total. I’d like to thank Houston’s Andre Johnson for totally screwing me over and scoring that TD on Monday night with 21 seconds left. Because of that, it made another team win, thus knocking me from the playoffs by less than a point.

You’re on my s**t list now Andre Johnson!

Injury Bug

  • There’s nothing like a concussion to a stud QB to make your playoff team crap its pants. Aaron Rodgers suffered his second concussion of the season and hasn’t practiced all week.
  • Tavaris Jackson is already on the IR after just one start this season. He didn’t even have enough time to sext his penis to a colleague like one of his teammates who shall go unnamed.
  • Chargers receiver Malcom Floyd is nursing a tender hamstring, but head coach Norv Turner is optimistic that he will play Sunday. Floyd had 51 yds and 2 TD last week.

Who’s Making Noise

  • Remember Hightower from the Police Academy movies? Well, Tim Hightower has no relation, but he did have 148 yds and 2 TD against Denver.
  • Ryan Torain returned from a hamstring injury to rush for a career high 172 yards.
  • The QB carousel in San Francisco landed on Alex Smith in Week 14 and he delivered against Seattle’s poor defense with 255 yds and 3 TD.
  • QB David Garrard is having a career-year and is the head of the #1 team in the NFC South, but too bad the fantasy world doesn’t care. He added 159 yds (yawn) and 3 TD (yay!) to his better than expected season.

Big Busts

  • I guess Brett Favre’s penis intimidated opposing defenses more than we thought since Adrian Peterson was put up against eight men in the box all day and could only manage 26 yds on 14 carries.
  • Denver is in a downward spiral, and Kyle Orton has thrown 0 TD and 3 INT in the last two games.
  • Chiefs receiver Dwayne Bowe had been on quite the roll as of late with 32 receptions for 465 yds and 7 TD from Weeks 10-12. Lately, he has hit a wall with only 1 catch for 3 yds in his last two games.

Other Notes

  • If Matt Cassel misses another game this Sunday, then consider the stocks of Dwayne Bowe and Jamaal Charles to take a dive.
  • Tim Tebow has taken the majority of snaps at Broncos practice this week as Kyle Orton hasn’t thrown a pass all week. Do whatever you wish with this information.
  • Hines Ward jumped the gun on my prediction and had 8 catches for 115 yds. What a jerk!

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