Garnett and Rivers to Clippers Deal ‘Dead’

Bruins Take 2-1 Series Lead as Rask Silences Blackhawks

A Brief History of Stolen Bases and the Red Sox

Connelly’s Top Ten: Bruins Blast Blackhawks

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Coming Up With Creative Fantasy Baseball Team Names

You may be the smartest guy in your fantasy baseball league. You took Carlos Gonzalez in the 20th round last year. You let Mark Reynolds slip by you after his 41-HR season. You passed on Adrian Beltre the year after he belted 48 HRs. You knew Dallas Braden and Mark Buehrle had nowhere to go but down after their perfect games the last couple years, so you sold high.

While you may be the most-skilled fantasy owner around, you could have one fatal flaw: a lame team name. If your team is named Jeff’s Juggernauts, The Miguel Cabreras, Red Sox Nation, Pete’s Pirates, or anything else super-lame, you need some serious help despite your otherwise flawless fantasy intuition. I’m here to be of service.

So, how does one come up with a creative team name? (If you think I missed any ideas…let me know!)

Pop-Culture References

What’s going on in the news lately? What’s trending in Twitter? Oftentimes, you can use what’s happening now in the world as your team’s name. Here are a few top stories the last couple weeks:

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen can’t seem to stay out of the headlines lately. I guarantee this fantasy season, you’ll see teams called “Winning, Duh!” or “Tiger Blood” or “Torpedo Of Truth.”

They’re not the best team names, but they’re relevant. My solution for an even better team name? Go an extra step with Charlie Sheen. Be the “Detroit Tiger’s Blood” or hearken back to Sheen from the Major League movies. Be “The Wild Things” or simply “Rick Vaughn.”

Japan’s Earthquake & Tsunami

Probably more than 10,000 people have died, while hundreds of thousands of more have been endangered due to issues with the nuclear reactors. Stay away from this in the fantasy baseball realm unless you’re (a) heartless or (b) honoring those lost in Japan.

March Madness

Unless you’re talking about the NCAA Tournament…of BASEBALL, stay away from team names that make sense only in other sports.

Baseball History

Some of you may be baseball purists, and if so, this is probably the way to go. Baseball is America’s pasttime, and has been played at a professional level since before 1900, so there are many historical references that can be made.

Also, classic team nicknames can be acceptable…but remember: “Red Sox Nation” and “The Bronx Bombers” are very unoriginal and lame. Same for “Yankees Suck” too – that’s soooo 2003. Dig deeper.

Here’s some ideas:

• Black Sox (Refers to the 1919 White Sox who fixed the World Series)
• The Amazins (Refers to the 1969 last-to-first Mets)
• Murderer’s Row (In the 1920′s, the Yankees were dominant, but Murderer’s Row refers to the 1927 Yankees team that featured Babe Ruth and Lou Gherig. That team was so good, they went 110-44 while Ruth hit .356 with 60 HRs and 164 RBIs and Gherig won the MVP by hitting .373 with 47 HRs and 175 RBIs)
• Big Red Machine (Refers to the 1970′s Reds, not Kane)
• Bash Brothers (Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire… or Dean Portman and Fulton Reed from The Mighty Ducks, but the latter isn’t baseball related)

Movies/Television

This can be a good way to show you know your baseball history on the field and off of it. Have you seen “Rookie of the Year” or “Field of Dreams”? How about any Kevin Costner movie?

The Bad News Bears

If you haven’t seen the 2005 remake starring Billy Bob Thornton, then don’t. It was awful. If you choose to refer to the Bad News Bears, people are going to assume you’re talking about the 1976 cult classic.

Try these names:

• Bad News Bears
• Chico’s Bail Bonds (team sponsor)
• Morris Buttermaker (played by Walter Matthau)

The Simpsons

The long-time cartoon classic on Fox has made several references to baseball over the years. Are the Simpsons old and out of touch? At this point, probably. But, you may find some chumps in your league salivating over your team name.

Try these names:

• Springfield Isotopes (Homer was the mascot)
• Homer’s Wonderbat
• Homer At The Bat

Other Movies/TV Show References

There are many, many other TV shows and movies I could run through, but here are a few popular team names related to TV shows or movies:

• Gas-House Gorillas (From a Looney Tunes episode in 1946)
• Baseball Furies (The gang from the 1976 film, The Warriors)
• Durham Bulls (Actual Minor League baseball team featured in Bull Durham and The Rookie)
• The Untouchables (You may recall the baseball bat murder scene)
• Benchwarmers (This film starred Rob Schnieder, David Spade, and the guy from Napoleon Dynamite. Say no more…)
• Kenny Powers (From the HBO series Eastbound & Down)
• Angels In The Outfield (The movie is so old…these are the California Angels)
• You’re Killin’ Me Smalls! (…and many other quotable references from The Sandlot)

Click here for a complete list of baseball movies to generate ideas from.

“Clever” Puns

This may be my favorite form of fantasy team names. In basketball, I’ve used “LOL Deng” for years, obviously swapping out “Luol” for “LOL.” My other basketball team names have been “Dwight Howard The Duck” and “Kevin Lovemaker.” The same type of team-naming strategy can work in baseball, too.

You don’t have to be limited by player name puns. You can use team names (like I wrote earlier with Detroit Tiger’s Blood) or big stories in baseball (for years I have used the name “Triple HGH.” When I was younger and uncreative, I used “A-Roids.”). Just have fun with it.

Admittedly, I spotted a lot of these names on a thread on a Fangraphs forum. Some of you are very creative. Here are a few suggestions:

• Chasing Utley (like Kevin Smith’s “Chasing Amy”)
• Sell My Grill Manny (this was cute like five years ago)
• The Rio Granderson (The Rio Grande + Curtis Granderson)
• Inglorious Bastardos (Inglorious Basterds + Antonio Bastardo)
• Longoria’s Basterds (Evan Longoira + Inglorious Basterds)
• The Dark Wright (The Dark Knight + David Wright)
• The Braun Identity (Ryan Braun + The Bourne Identity)
• San Jose Cansecos (San Jose + Jose Canseco)
• With or Without Youk
• Billy Beane Is Not My Lover (Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean”)
• It Byrnes When I Peavy (Involes Eric Byrnes and Jake Peavy)
• No Smoaking (Re: Justin Smoak)
• Tulowit To Quit (Troy Tulowitzki + “Too Legit To Quit”)
• Kevin Cash Considerations
• Harangutans (Aaron Harang + Orangutans)
• Honey Nut Ichiro’s (Honey Nut Cheerios + Ichiro)
• Toronto Blu-Rays

Do you have any suggestions? Comment below!

Tags: 2011, Fantasy, Fantasy Baseball, Team Names

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