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What We Learned This Week: Canucks Still Gutless, More Tebow Songs

Nathan Horton, Dale Weise (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Sports is supposed to entertain us, maybe help build character, and teach us valuable lessons about life. But it’s often not entertaining, and is filled with characters who still need a lot of building. But what about learning lessons? What have we learned from sports this week?

(Week of January 4th through January 11th)

1. If six Vancouver players gang up and jump one Boston player, the result is an ejection for a different Boston player, and a 5-on-3 power play for Vancouver.

2. Denver has a quarterback named T-bone or something like that. Good to see him finally getting a little media attention.

3. LSU and Alabama might have better defenses than the Patriots, but their snoozetastic offenses can only combine for a single touchdown between them in two full games between the “best teams in college football.”

4. “Canuck” is a slang term meaning “weaselly gutless puke.”

5. Everyone is singing about Tim Tebow now! From 80′s has-beens recycling their forgotten hits to anonymous hip-hoppers performing lame raps that aren’t safe for work, everyone wants to weigh in musically on that guy and that thing he does. If you’re thinking about maybe performing a song about him, please don’t, there are way too many already.

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