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What We Learned This Week: Professor Paps, Peyton’s Place?

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What We Learned This Week
Week of March 3 – March 10

 

Peyton Manning Got Cut From a 2-14 Team

What a scrub! I hope the poor guy can somehow catch on with another team. It will be strange to see Peyton Manning in another uniform (or another helmet) but Johnny Unitas with the Chargers and Joe Namath with the Rams worked out well, didn’t they? Hopefully Rob Lowe will soon literally announce where Peyton will literally be playing next season.

Jonathan Papelbon Thinks Phillies Fans are Smarter than Red Sox Fans.

This isn’t a case of the pot calling the kettle a dumbass– as a universally acknowledged genius, Papelbon is a uniquely qualified judge of other people’s intelligence and knowledge. That’s why everyone calls him Professor Papelbon, right? The Dropkick Murphys struck back and told him to stop using their song as his entrance music. Or did they? When will the sports media ever get to the bottom of this crucial issue?

Celtics GM Danny Ainge Wants Tyler Hansbrough and a First Round Pick for Ray Allen.

Larry Bird says “he ain’t getting it.” Come on, Larry don’t you know that old Celtics teammates are supposed to help Ainge in trades? It will be interesting to see how many of the New Old Big 3 and/or Rajon Rondo remain in Boston after Thursday’s trade deadline.

The Bruins Instantly Went from Having One of The Best Goaltending Tandems in the League to Scrambling for Has-Beens

From now on, whenever Tim Thomas needs a day off, it’s either an old guy rescued from the Swiss league, or the singer from INXS between the pipes for the Bruins.

It’s Actually Possible to Watch a Game on TV Without Some Annoying Guy Telling You What You Are Seeing.

Hopefully this will catch on. Because when you’re actually at a ballgame, do you really miss having some announcer saying dumb stuff like “There’s the pitch, it’s a ball. We ate at a good buffet for dinner last night, mmm, good shrimp. Pitcher grabs his groin, then looks in for the sign. Here comes the pitch…” Why do we need a play-by-play guy to tell us what we’re seeing when you can actually see the action better on TV than from the stands anyway?

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