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There is a spectrum of Red Sox fans, I think we can all admit.
There are the Pink Hats and the Guy Listening to His Transistor Radio Behind Home Plate. There is the I Don’t Care If We’re Down 9-0, I’m Still Singing “Sweet Caroline” and the Cowers Behind Her Couch Because No 9-0 Lead is Safe.
Then there is the Casual Foul Ball Catcher and the Desperate Foul Ball Fanatics. Both kinds of souvenir chasers were on display in Wednesday’s game between the Boston Red Sox and Toronto Blue Jays.
First, there was the man along the third base line who had Dionner Navarro’s ground rule double fall into his lap as if he had found a fallen piece of popcorn. So cool. So calm. So collected. So nonchalant. Oh what’s this? It’s not popcorn? Here. You take it. I want some more Cracker Jacks.
And in this corner, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum…
The only thing sadder than two grown men scrabbling after a foul ball oscillating between a slow-rolling and stationary? Two grown men scrabbling after said foul ball with baseball gloves.
Though the way the Red Sox have been playing as of late, they could use some desperation. Maybe even just add those jokers to the 25-man roster.
Props where props are due, though: the woman in the center wearing the red rain jacket shows off some textbook boxing out technique. Maybe the Celtics can take her with the sixth pick in the draft?