Sports of Boston » Jon

Why Did the U.S. Soccer Team Fight?

Jon — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:47:55 +0000

If you were a bitter fan, you might be asking yourself that question right now. What was all of that for? Why’d we get excited? Is that IT?

I’ve got good news and bad news for you, U.S. soccer fans. The bad news is that, despite Landon Donovan’s last-minute heroics in the Algeria game to send us into the knockout stages, despite the heart-stopping draw (that was really an American win) against Slovenia, the 2010 World Cup is not going to be looked back upon as the watershed moment that catapulted soccer firmly into the American mainstream. Jim Rome and his moronic ilk are still going to scoff, and you’re still going to get funny looks at parties when you wear your Arsenal jersey.

There’s a silver lining, though, as I said: the 2010 World Cup marks the official arrival of the U.S. as a soccer nation among the rest of the world. American soccer players can hold their heads up high, particularly given the abject and nausea-inducing displays produced by both of 2006′s finalists. The Americans beat Spain and battled bravely against Brazil in the Confederations Cup. They held England – and really, they probably could have won that game – were unjustly held to a draw against Slovenia, and produced an inspirational finish against Algeria this month in South Africa. We’re here. We’re Americans. We can play this game, too.

And in the wake of the Ghana game, it appears that we can see a superb second-half performance undone by a brilliant goal. (It’s an important skill for a major international team to have, I’m told.) But Team USA’s heads should be held high as they leave South Africa. In a generally disappointing first act for this World Cup, their graft and industry – along with their flair for the dramatic – made them standouts and fully deserved group winners.

I wrote a World Cup preview for this Website many months ago. I dismissed any thoughts that the U.S. would do anything but make an appearance at the World Cup as fantasy. As somebody who mostly follows the EPL, I frequently find myself in the curious position of knowing more about soccer but less about my own national team than many more casual fans. So I fell back on the stereotypes I’d absorbed from British media (I’m looking at you, Guardian.co.uk!) about American soccer: they’ll be athletic and well-organized, but they don’t know how to play. Despite the disappointing exit, I’d like to say right now that I got that one absolutely wrong.

As snooty as this undoubtedly sounds, I can pay the team no higher compliment than this: they didn’t LOOK like Americans playing soccer.

Tiger Woods Wins Associated Playa’s Playa of the Year Award

Jon — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:32:02 +0000

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

The Associated Playas, the planet’s largest organization of pimps and playas – as well as nymphos and maneaters, since the recent Supreme Court decision – is proud to offer its Playa of the Year award to none other than Tiger Woods, whose masterful swinging of the wood has inspired us all to reach greater heights of playa-hood.

This playa, freak hos and gentlemen, has style. Woods successfully kept his expert playing of the field on the DL for years, maintaining his sterling public image – and maximizing the size of the field in which he could sow his wild oats.

And sow he did. The width and breadth of fly honeys through which Woods went like a sex-crazed harpoon through the side of a smokin’ hot whale is both impressive and becomes still more impressive every day.

The truly inspirational extent to which this playa got around offers a brilliant beacon for all playadom to emulate: We must, in the future, endeavor to reach the lofty standards set by Woods and enjoy the pleasures that he has shown us how to achieve.

MEDIA CONTACT: Slickback Robinson, 212-555-8492

ALL OTHERS, INCLUDING CNN HOTTIE CAMPBELL BROWN: Let me give you my private number, baby…

U.S. Won’t Have Enough Thunder to Storm World Cup

Jon — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 12:00:00 +0000

It’s happened again: The U.S. national team has qualified for the finals of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa and is currently ranked 11th in the world. For a nation that’s supposedly indifferent to the world’s game, that’s not a bad day’s work. This is a team with a lot to celebrate. They’re tops in the North American regional federation (CONCACAF) and have made it to the last six World Cups in a row. This is a team that beat arguably the best national side in the world by two goals and gave mighty Brazil a rough time.

Sadly, it’s all going to end with a whimper. The U.S. men’s team, barring a lot of luck, might not even make it past the group stages next summer in South Africa.

This is a team with the traditional strengths of American soccer: They’re athletic, they can run all day, they work hard, and they stay organized. They also suffer from the traditional weaknesses of American soccer: Unintelligent play, lack of creativity, and serious problems in attack. Team USA can simply out-run and out-muscle a lot of weaker sides from small Central American countries, but they can’t expect to get the same results by sheer effort at the World Cup. South American powerhouses full of deft, crafty midfielders like Brazil and Argentina will simply pass their way around the midfield to create oodles of chances, while bruising European heavyweights like Germany and Holland will be able to win the ball in the midfield and defense and score with lightning counterattacks.

Team USA is also battling injury worries with some of their most important players: Defender Oguchi Onyewu, who was so critical to America’s superb run in the Confederations Cup has a serious tendon injury, and striker Charlie Davies was just involved in a car accident that claimed the life of a young woman. (Clearly, he’ll have other things on his mind when he finishes having an assload of surgery.) Onyewu could return, Davies will almost certainly not. Both absences are serious blows to the team. Without Onyewu, the defense loses solidity, and without Davies, there’s no obvious candidate to create space for playmaker Landon Donovan.

Of course, I could be wrong. Jozy Altidore is an exciting young talent up front and might burst upon the world stage like a Patriot Cruise Missile. Donovan is one of the very few American soccer players that gets much respect overseas, and he deserves every bit of it. But those two aside, I don’t see where the goals are going to come from for this team. Clint Dempsey? He’s all right in the air, but he’s hardly going to be a threat to score in every game. Brian Ching? Please.

And without Onyewu, Team USA’s back line begins to look more than a little worrying. Jonathan Spector has put in the odd decent performance for the national team, but he looks wildly out of his depth whenever he plays for West Ham United. Jimmy Conrad is old. Frankie Hejduk – though still capable – is older. Jonathan Bornstein doesn’t inspire any confidence.

In short, I think that the caliber of the competition in South Africa this summer is going to cruelly expose the flaws in this Team USA that was so recently flying high at the Confederations Cup. Without sufficient force going forward, opponents will be able to soak up pressure and score freely on the break. If everyone was going to be healthy, then you might not bet against the U.S. doing some damage in the knockout stages, but as it is, I’ll be impressed if they get there at all.

Check back soon as Jeff Christenbury gives his reasons on why the US will succeed at the World Cup…

The Sox are Down 0-2 and It’s All YOUR Fault

Jon — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:35:47 +0000

This was supposed to be a gimme, right? What folds faster than Superman on laundry day? The Angels in the playoffs, of course. The only bigger bunch of choke artists are our good friends, the Yankees. Let’s all get excited for that classic Boston – New York ALCS that we all love and most of the rest of the country can’t stand!

Wait, what? We’re down 0-2? We lost with Lester and Beckett on the hill? How did this happen?

I’ve got news for you, my cocky fellow citizens of Red Sox Nation: It’s all your fault.

That’s right. Everybody who thought the Angels would provide the Sox with a quick three-game workout in which to further demonstrate their postseason might, I hope you’re happy with yourselves. I know they’ve done that many times before. I know that the Red Sox routinely go deep into the postseason, and I know that you were all looking forward to playing the Yankees in the ALCS.

But I’ve got news for you: Pride goeth before the goddamn fall. This is one fan base that’s gotten cocky and self-assured and – let’s be honest – a little bit smug since the deity-kissed autumn of 2004. Was this how you rooted for the Sox that year? Assuming that they’d get through at least some games to fight a cataclysmic battle with the Yankees?

Or were you down-on-your-knees grateful that yes, we get to watch our beloved Red Sox play at least one more game of baseball? That hope springs eternal?

Did you think they were going to win? Or did you believe?

So go back to being paranoid and crazy, and give up the whole cocky, co-captains-of-the-AL attitude. See if you can dig the Sox out of this hole.

(Disclaimer: Objects in playoff picture may be closer than they appear. Wishing may not make it so. Snapping fingers may not make food appear.)

Patriots Outlast Ravens, 27-21

Jon — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 22:28:13 +0000

Tom Brady was coming off the back of two shaky outings in a row, and you don’t need me to tell you how rare that is. The defense that had lost multiple leaders and was looking eminently mortal. But, Tommie and the gang were back in business against a tough Baltimore Ravens defense, and even if they never looked like they were going to run away with the game, they also never looked like they were going to lose.

Though the Pats ended the first quarter trailing by four after Joe Flacco hit the ageless Derrick Mason for 20 yards and a touchdown, they were already grinding inexorably back down the field as the second quarter began. The early going wasn’t easy for the Patriots’ offense, and they increasingly featured their platoon of Kevin Faulk, Sammy Morris, and the impressive Fred Taylor in a drive that ended with a rushing touchdown for none other than Tom “Goldenballs” Brady himself. Sammy Morris would scamper in from 12 yards out towards the end of the half to make the score 17-7 at the break, with the defense coming up with a couple of critical stops.

Ravens OT Jared Gaither also suffered a frightening injury in the second quarter, slamming his head against the back of Joe Flacco. Gaither required extensive treatment on the field, and was moved to Mass General as the game continued. NECN reports, thankfully, that he’s able to move all his extremities, so a big SoB “get well soon” goes out to Jared Gaither: We want the Pats to beat your ass, but we’d rather they didn’t paralyze you at the same time.

But, after not coughing up the ball for something like a hundred gajillion plays, the Pats fumbled twice in a row near the start of the second half. The first time, they recovered it, but they lost it on the next play, with Dwan Edwards chugging into the Patriots end zone for an easy score. After that, with the exception of a good Ravens drive to keep it close in the fourth quarter, it was all New England on both sides of the ball. The defense got stingier, constantly pressuring Flacco despite the efforts of a solid Ravens O-line that included top newcomers Michael Oher and Marshall Yanda (a former Iowa Hawkeye who delivered possibly the hardest hit I’ve ever seen in real life).

As for the offense, it looked a bit like a combined-arms military operation: no stars, no standouts, no particular specialization, but everything done more or less correctly. The Patriots effectively mixed passes and rushing, Brady spread the ball around superbly, and they just kept possession and kept the football moving.

Having handed the Ravens their first loss of the year, the Patriots will now look ahead to Denver, where the Broncos will present them with another stern test.

Uncle Lester is Back: Sox Beat Indians 3-0

Jon — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 05:44:07 +0000

The collective brick-s**ting that occurred across New England last Friday after Melky Cabrera welted a line drive straight into Jon Lester’s knee ceased Thursday night as Lester handcuffed the Cleveland Indians to win 3-0. It was a reassuring performance for the Red Sox’s best starter of the second half as Boston looks to the post-season.

Starting with a series of long fly-outs, Lester never gave the Indians much of a chance, allowing a total of three baserunners and no runs through six and one third innings of work. The Sox lefty got stronger as the evening wore on, finishing with seven strikeouts to come away with his 15th win of the season.

From the other end of the battery, Boston looked dangerous all night, and should probably have scored more than the three runs that they did, banging out 12 hits and drawing four walks against uneven Cleveland pitching. Indians starter Carlos Carrasco threw decent stuff but was unable to locate with any kind of authority, giving up nine hits in just three and a third. The entire Red Sox lineup produced, as Jacoby Ellsbury led the charge with three hits and his major-league leading 68th stolen base.

A couple of rough moments from Daniel Bard were wiped away by a timely double play, and the game was never really in doubt as the Sox bullpen reverted to its usual lights-out quality.

Sox Stud of the Game: Undoubtedly Jon Lester

The ace lefty averted pre-playoff heartburn in Red Sox Nation by demonstrating that a nasty-looking injury hadn’t slowed him down.

Sox Dud of the Game: Joey Gathright

Makes me nervous in the batter’s box. I mean, he’s pounding his chest, playing with the batting gloves, wiggling the damn bat around…it’s like, “calm down, dude!”

Notes

W: Jon Lester (15-8)
L: Carlos Carrasco (0-4)
S: Jonathan Papelbon (38)

It’s always kind of nice when your defensive specialist shortstop picks up a multi-hit game, as Alex Gonzales did tonight.
Youk looked seriously pissed off when he struck out with the bases loaded. Don’t f*ck with a pissed-off Jewish slugger.
I’ve never physically been in Boston for a Red Sox postseason, and I’m damn near s**ting bricks in anticipation.

Sabathia Bests Dice-K in Tense Pitcher’s Duel

Jon — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:45:27 +0000

If you can call any game where the Sox lose to the Yankees a good one, this was it.

Though the Yankees rode a devastating outing from C.C. Sabathia to beat the Red Sox 3-0 to clinch the final regular season series between the arch-rivals, there was an abundance of silver lining in this dark cloud. Dice-K pitched well for the third start in a row since his return from a lengthy stint on the DL, and was mightily unlucky to come up against Sabathia dealing such all-conquering stuff from the outset. The Sox managed just one hit against the Yankee lefty who won his 19th game of the year.

And who doesn’t like seeing A-Rod do stupid stuff? The Yankee third baseman was called out for interfering with Victor Martinez’s throw when he turned to argue a call with the home plate umpire, apparently oblivious to Mark Teixeira all alone between first and second. As they say on the internet, LMAO.

Dice-K did some of his trademark wriggling out of trouble in the fifth, escaping a bases-loaded jam with no outs and A-Rod at the plate. The Japanese righty gave up just one run, a solo shot to Robinson Cano. (New York got their other two runs off Billy Wagner in the eighth.)

And wouldn’t you know it, Rodriguez brushed a little dribbler just in front of the plate, V-Mart pounced on it like a jaguar, and dove athletically back to tag out a sliding Derek Jeter. It was a brilliant play, and should quiet some of the anxiety about Victor’s defensive skills.

Sox Stud of the Game:

Daisuke Matsuzaka

Even though he took the loss, he looked pretty sharp. Though he may not challenge Buchholz for the third spot in a playoff rotation, it’ll sure be nice to have the option there.

Sox Dud of the Game:

Every piece of lumber from the visitor’s dugout.

It’s not quite fair to blame the Sox for looking hapless against a pitcher like Sabathia when he’s throwing that well, so we’ll blame it on the bats.

Game Notes

WP: CC Sabathia
LP: Daisuke Matsuzaka

Dice-K, Sox Pen Make Angels Look Like Baka Gaijin

Jon — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 03:22:45 +0000

It was a triumphant return to Fenway for Daisuke Matsuzaka, as the Japanese right-hander earned his second win of the year by shutting down the MLB-leading Angels offense through six innings. He looked, in fact, a lot like the Dice-K of old, frequently nibbling when ahead in the count, but gave up a grand total of three hits and three walks and zero runs. Matsuzaka showed signs of regaining his form of 2007: cool, dispassionate, and effective. He didn’t give up a hit until the fifth inning. It was, in short, a better comeback that most Red Sox fans could have hoped for. With an Oakland win over Texas tonight, Boston will stretch their wild-card lead to 5.5 games, making the question of where Dice-K might fit into a playoff roster an exciting one.

Angels starter John Lackey rode a 23-inning scoreless streak (!) into the bottom of the sixth, but paid the price for his attempt at a too-ambitious force at third base. Lackey’s hurried throw skipped into left field, and Alex Gonzalez broke the deadlock on the LA righty’s error. Boston’s bats would continue to threaten, scoring another in the sixth on a bases-loaded line drive that Ortiz landed just in front of Juan Rivera in left.

Ortiz would do some more damage after Jason Bay knocked in the Red Sox third, but was thrown out at second trying to steal a double. Big Papi hammered one of reliever Jose Arredondo’s first deliveries over the wall in deep center field to set a major league record for most home runs hit as a DH, with 270. The Angels would pull one back off Papelbon in the ninth, but the final outcome was never in doubt.

A quick report on the return of the Dice-K

Well, first of all, he looked really good. Some of the same irritating tendencies were there: Nibbling, lapses in concentration without runners on base and so forth, but when it counted, Matsuzaka made the pitches he needed to. Three of his five strikeouts on the night were beautifully placed fastballs right on the corners to catch dangerous LA hitters looking in important situations. Seriously ballsy pitching. It was the kind of fine control that he’d lacked earlier in the season, and he instantaneously made Clay Buchholz look like a contender, rather than a certainty, for third starter in a playoff rotation. No slight to either of them, but if both Buchholz and Matsuzaka keep pitching like they pitched in their last starts, the Red Sox have the embarrassment of starting riches that they were meant to have at the beginning of the season.

He may never exert the kind of routine, effortless dominance that those tens of millions of dollars suggest, but Dice-K held the toughest offense in the big leagues hitless for five innings tonight. Regardless of what you expected, I bet this performance is better. He’s back, ladies and gentlemen.

Sox Stud of the Game

Who but Daisuke Matsuzaka?

Sox Dud of the Game

Jason Varitek. He looked pretty wretched at bat tonight. When’s V-Mart back, again?

That’s what He Said

“F**king s**t!” — Chone Figgins, after getting caught window shopping for the second time by the resurgent Matsuzaka.

Game Notes

David Ortiz set a major-league record for home runs by a designated hitter with a colossal solo wallop in the eighth.
Daniel Bard made the job of relief pitcher look really easy by throwing three monstrous fastballs (99,100,and 100 MPH according to NESN’s radar gun) and then sitting back down, job done.

Why Youk Whinin’? Shaughnessy Tells Us

Jon — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 22:33:00 +0000

After the usual boring intro in which he talks about Billy Mays, Ginsu knives, and goes “Hey look! Kevin Youkilis can play multiple positions,” everyone’s favorite Boston sports columnist breaks out his money quotes…

“I’m just annoyed with the media as a whole,” [Youk] said. “People write stuff about players on this team throughout the whole year and it’s been going on for years and people just keep writing crap.’’

We write crap because every so often, good guys like you give pissy, inarticulate little quotes like that one, Youk.

“One night we get beat and it’s the end of the world and the next night we win big and it’s totally solid. We’re back. It’s up and down. One night we’re getting bashed and the next time they’re cheering. One guy has a bad game one night and they’re all over him and the next night he has a good game and he’s a hero.”

Uh, Youk, how long have you been in Boston again? Nobody takes the sky-is-falling-crowd seriously, and the few who do are justly ostracized. Don’t worry your pretty bald head about it. The world of sports journalism is riddled with self-aggrandizing jerks who love to hear themselves say dramatic things. Anybody who pays them an iota of attention is wasting their time.

“The problem with the game and all sports . . . I understand everything’s not positive in this world. And negative stuff sells. But I come to the ballpark and go to a football game or basketball games. I don’t even think you can take kids to a game anymore. There’s so much negative yelling and screaming at players. People don’t even root for their team anymore. They just root against the opposition’s players. They’re so angry at people.

Youk, you’ve actually got a point here, but I question whether people are just rooting against the opposition. I think faithful fans have been giving good-humored — and not so good-humored — shit to their rivals since time immemorial. I think Youk’s point was that “hating the Yankees does not make you a Sox fan.” Fair enough. But it surely doesn’t disqualify you, either. As someone who loves the Sox and hates the Yankees (no kidding, really!) I feel like the two emotions are more or less inseparable.

It goes on like this, but it’s really just a kind of general whine. I understand that he’s got stuff to get off his chest, but don’t do it in front of Shaughnessy, because then he’ll come out with something as stupid as…

Youk sounds a little like Childe Nomar, circa 2004.

/coffee spit

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, SHAUGHNESSY?! I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that one of the leading purveyors of misinformation about the Curse of the Bambino should be so eager to spring new hexes on New England.

In summary: Youk, quit your bellyaching and terrify more pitchers. We like it when you do that. Ignore the morons, or better yet, throw batting helmets at them. No jury of real Sox fans would convict you.

Shaughnessy, I’d like to give you some travel brochures for this wonderful little desert island. It’s name? Goh-phuk-ursylf. Lovely this time of year.

Globe Headlines Uncon-Vince-ing

Jon — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 12:16:51 +0000

(Speaking of unconvincing headlines…)

I come from a print background, so I’m usually willing to give newspapers the benefit of the doubt over apparent mistakes. I think newspapers are still the most journalistic-savvy of the major media, and they’re about the only ones left that do any actual reporting. Still, they occasionally fall down in the area of interpretation.

A piece in yesterday’s Globe was headlined “Nose getting out of joint?” (Sub-head:”Wilfork frustrated with Patriots.”) If that’s all you saw, you could get mightily worried about Vince Wilfork’s relationship with the front office. Fortunately for Pats fans, the article’s cuffs and collar don’t match.

Wilfork is quoted at length discussing his contract situation, characterizing the situation as “frustrating.” Note that he didn’t say he was frustrated with the team, merely the situation. In fact, he goes out of his way to emphasize that he “understand[s] where the organization is coming from.” The star nose tackle comes off sounding reasonable, good-humored and cogent, not at all the whining malcontent that the headline suggests.

This is, admittedly, splitting hairs very finely indeed. But both the Patriots and the Globe are local institutions. Couldn’t the Globe be throwing the Patriots a bone by swinging the tone of the debate in the organization’s favor? Wouldn’t it help the Patriots put pressure on Wilfork to sign a cheaper deal by swinging public opinion against him?

Technically, the answers are yes and yes, but come on; does that make any sense? It’s the same kind of conspiracy theorizing as those creeps who think the government did 9/11 or the nutbars who insist that the moon landings were fake. I’ll eat my remote control if there’s any actual effort going on there. It’s just some dumb editor doing what dumb editors do: screw up stories.

Also, I didn’t know that Wilfork just had another kid. Congrats, big fella. Here’s hoping the kid goes to Boston Latin and not Bronx Science or someplace.