Jon

Deadspin: Your Source for Witless, Misdirected Rage

By Jon ⋅ August 2, 2009 ⋅ 3 comments

I just read this on Deadspin, which is generally excellent. It’s by Drew Magary, who is also generally excellent. What do you think are the odds that the article, exhibit number 85,782 in the case of Drew’s irrational hatred of all things Massachusetts, is a pointless screed about how we Red Sox fans are naive [...]

Boston’s Creaky Champs

By Jon ⋅ August 1, 2009 ⋅ One comment

This town is one hell of a sports mecca. Let’s get that out of the way to start. Like the real Mecca, it seems like people of a certain age are drawn to make a pilgrimage here, usually towards the end of their careers. The Founding Father of this website, Kevin Garnett himself (peace be [...]

Beckett Shuts Down A’s, Sox Win 8-3

By Jon ⋅ July 28, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

Take John Smoltz, subtract 15 years, and what do you get? Josh Beckett, of course. The ace was in the place last night, striking out 10 Athletics through seven innings of work for his 12th win of the season. Beckett frequently looked completely dominant, particularly in the fourth and fifth innings, as the Oakland offense [...]

Smoltz Stumbles, Bats Lacking as O’s Avoid the Sweep

By Jon ⋅ July 26, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

For the first two games of this series, it looked like the slumbering Boston offense had woken up. But today, facing talented Baltimore righty David Hernandez, it turned out that they had simply gotten up to pee before going right back to sleep again. John Smoltz took the 6-2 loss to send the Red Sox [...]

OMG. DON’T LET TEH YANKEES GET HALLADAY. SRSLY.

By Jon ⋅ July 26, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

I’m sure I’m not the only one who gets mightily sick of hearing about possible trades for Roy Halladay. The saga has been dragging on for what seems like decades, with the same names being bandied about like ribald jokes. Part of the problem is that sports media is generally pretty good about covering what [...]

What’s that, Lassie? Michael Vick is Coming to the Patriots?

By Jon ⋅ July 22, 2009 ⋅ 13 comments

Sometimes, even the most acid-tongued, sour-mouthed cynics have to step back, scratch their heads, and go, “Whoa, that’s some coincidence.” I started reading The Hound of the Baskervilles on the same day that somebody told me that Michael Vick might sign for the Patriots. That’s wicked strange. I think that’s a really, really bad idea. [...]

Wasteful Red Sox Squander Chances

By Jon ⋅ July 18, 2009 ⋅ 2 comments

It was the kind of matinee you’d rather not take the kids to see. The Red Sox were poor in all phases of the game today, losing 6-2 at Toronto. The bats? Boston was 1-12 with runners in scoring position. The pitching? Brad Penny was woeful, giving up eight hits and six earned runs through [...]

Arrivederci, Julio: Lugo Designated for Assignment

By Jon ⋅ July 17, 2009 ⋅ 5 comments

Really bashing a professional athlete in print always reminds me of what Kurt Vonnegut said about literary criticism — it’s as though you’ve just put on full armor and attacked a banana split. Which is a great image, unless you’re particularly fond of banana splits, what with the ice cream and banana pieces plastered all [...]

Red Sox Midseason Review: The Management

By Jon ⋅ July 17, 2009 ⋅ One comment

2009 Red Sox Midseason Report Card: Pitching | Hitting | Management The final part of our Red Sox midseason review deals with the men at the top: Manager Terry “Tito” Francona and General Manager Theo Epstein. For these guys, it’s the results that matter, and you can’t argue with the results that either of them [...]

Why the Home Run Derby Rots Your Brain and Possibly Your Eyes

By Jon ⋅ July 14, 2009 ⋅ 6 comments

It happens to me every year: I go into the Home Run Derby thinking, “Aw, this will be a fun little diversion!” And every year, I get precisely the same sick, weak feeling, like I’ve been kicked in the gonads. Wait a minute, I realize. This really sucks. And the thing is, it sucks on [...]

Papi Power Pushes Sox to Victory

By Jon ⋅ July 9, 2009 ⋅ One comment

On Wednesday night, the Red Sox did the little things right, which is usually all it takes when the big things go your way. A botched pickoff here and fortunate double play there made all the difference for Boston as they beat the Oakland A’s 5-4 to take the series and maintain a one-game lead [...]

All-stars, smilin’ at me/Nothin’ but All-Stars, do I see…

By Jon ⋅ July 6, 2009 ⋅ One comment

(SoB readers: For extra credit read this post out loud in a Louis Armstrong voice! See how far you can get before you cough yourself stupid!) The 2009 All-Star selections are out, and there are, as usual, few surprises. Fun Fact: The Red Sox have the most All-Stars of any major-league team this year, with [...]

You Guys Like Swarms of Things, Right?

By Jon ⋅ July 5, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

A huge swarm of bees delayed a game in San Diego on Thursday, and even though you just did, you really didn’t need to read that sentence again. It happened, I swear. I would have thought that that many bees would have delayed the game a lot longer than an hour, but modern beekeeping is [...]

Bob Kraft is a Smooth Criminal

By Jon ⋅ July 2, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

I realize that I’ve already written about the demise of Michael Jackson, among others, but what I didn’t tell you before is that there is a peculiar link between our New England Patriots and the King of Pop. According to reports published in 2005, the Sullivan family’s ill-fated backing of Jacko’s “Victory” tour forced them [...]

Sox Prove Stupid Saying About Geese and Ganders, Beat Orioles 6-5

By Jon ⋅ July 1, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

The hangover from Tuesday’s heartbreaking 11-10 loss to the Orioles, in which the Red Sox blew a nine — yes, nine — run lead, lasted about halfway into Wednesday’s thrilling 6-5 comeback victory to take the series and head back to Boston with the gleam of victory upon them. At the outset, it was clear [...]

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