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Shaq Makes a Slam Dunk on Raw

Shaquille O'Neal with WWE Superstar Mark Henry

Shaquille O’Neal met and surpassed all expectations with a thrilling night as guest host of Monday Night Raw. Shaq started the night by announcing a “beat the clock” challenge to determine who would face Randy Orton for the WWE Championship at Summerslam, at Los Angeles’ Staples Center on Sunday, August 23. Superstars Mark Henry, MVP, Triple H, Jack Swagger, and Massachusetts’ own John Cena would each have matches, and whoever won their match in the least amount of time would become the No. 1 contender.

Shaq was then interrupted by Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho and Big Show. After levying their usual insults, Shaq challenged Big Show to a match, but was turned down. Instead, the champions were booked in a match against Cryme Time, with O’Neal himself as the guest enforcer.

With interjections of entertaining moments (like giving a hello from LeBron James to the Washington D.C. crowd, a Scrabble game with Santino Marella, and the now seemingly weekly embarrassing loss of Chavo Guerrero to Hornswoggle, this time with Guerrero blindfolded), Shaq’s beat the clock challenge proved to be a night full of nail biting entertainment.

Mark Henry beat Carlito in 6 minutes and 49 seconds to set the time to beat. MVP fought Chris Masters to a double count-out, Triple H couldn’t beat the clock against Cody Rhodes, and Jack Swagger was himself pinned by Evan Bourne. Finally, John Cena was able to force The Miz to submit in 4 minutes and 28 seconds, and will fight Orton in four weeks for the gold.

In the final match, Big Show entered the ring illegally to get his team disqualified before challenging Shaq to come into the ring. Show would soon attempt a choke slam on O’Neal before Shaq grabbed Show’s neck in return. With a little help in breaking the stalemate from Cryme Time, Shaq would stand tall, and chase the tag champs backstage to end the night.

There may not have been any mention of the Celtics, though Shaq definitely proved he knows how to put on a show. Next week’s host Jeremy Piven will be hard pressed to top Monday Night’s episode.

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3 comments for “Shaq Makes a Slam Dunk on Raw”

  1. What a shocker, ANOTHER Cena/Orton Title match. God forbid they would push Evan Bourne (their most talented worker).

    Wrestling today is terrible and painfully predictable. It is nowehere near what it used to be. Since the WWE has cornered the market (TNA will never be a legit threat), they can do what they want and the viewer has to swallow it.

    So get ready to see another John Cena vs Randy Orton main event.

    Here is the ending: Orton will kick Cena’s ass the whole match, Cena will make a comeback, do his stupid 5-knuckle shuffle (worse that the people’s elbow), give Orton the FU (attitude adjustment) and then Rhodes and DiBiase will interfere and Cena wins by DQ thus setting up the next Cena/Orton PPV headliner.

    Then HHH will somehow get involved in the story and get another title shot because he is f**king Stephanie McMahon.

    Wrestling sucks.

    Posted by Pete | July 28, 2009, 11:36 am
  2. For someone who doesn’t like the product, you sure seem to know a lot about current story lines and terminology. No one’s making you watch but yourself.

    Posted by John | July 28, 2009, 12:13 pm
  3. ANYBODY remember shaq dissing kobe rap from a few years back?

    Shaq’s song needs a rewrite for 2010…

    This song is entitled:


    ITS MAY 2010 Cavs vs Celtics..Cavs will lose again!!!
    ITS 2010… Shaq couldn’t win without him…
    ITS 2010…Shaq couldn’t do it without him…
    SHAQ without kobe…falling from grace…
    SHAQ without kobe…Remember your own *** taste…
    SHAQ without kobe…coming in last place.
    SHAQ without kobe…with the fake king.
    Lebron wins mvp…will never wear a ring.
    shaq without KOBE. couldn’t win without him.
    Lakers 2010 CHAMPS…doin it again!!

    Posted by duron 24 | May 12, 2010, 11:08 am

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