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The Couch Potato Report: Celtics and Bruins Playoffs, Kentucky Derby

Peter Griffin and Tom Brady (Family Guy)

Today marks the kickoff of a new Friday feature here at Sports of Boston, and if you’re a sports-crazed dude who needs an excuse to park himself in front of the TV all weekend with the hopes of getting out of doing chores around the house, this is the article you’ll want to read each and every week.

I present to you, “The Couch Potato Report,” otherwise known as C.P.R. Now this ain’t no C.P.R. that forces you to get lip-locked with some slimy E.M.T. that still lives in his parents’ basement. No, this C.P.R. will give you new life in a different way, by showing you the path to a world of sports entertainment for you to savor all weekend long.

So, this is how it’ll work. Each Friday, you dial up your favorite Boston sports blog on the old computer machine. That’s where you’ll find The Couch Potato Report, where you’ll get five super, scintillating, and spectacular suggestions for your television viewing pleasure, along with a bonus “Off the Field” pick as well.

So now without further ado, let’s serve up this weekend’s appetizer, filled with delicious sports programming for all to enjoy…

#1 B’s & C’s Playoff Doubleheader

When and Where Will I Find It?

Saturday at 12:30pm on NBC (Bruins); Saturday at 8:00pm on TNT (Celtics)

Why Should I Watch?

Because it’s the playoffs, that’s why!?! Both the B’s and C’s begin their second round battles on Saturday, which makes for an entire day of couch potato glory. The Bruins host their Winter Classic foes, the Flyers, in a matinee Game 1 at the Garden, while the playoff nightcap will feature the Celtics taking on LeBron, the boo-boo on his elbow, and the rest of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Which team has a better chance of winning their second round series? This is why we watch!

#2 Kentucky Derby

When & Where?

Saturday afternoon on NBC


The 138th Kentucky Derby is the longest continuously running sporting event in all of America, and that’s nothing to shake a stick at. Millions of dollars will be “ponied” up on the field of 20 horses set to run in this year’s race, the first leg of the fabled Triple Crown. Now, if you love horse racing, you can literally park yourself on the couch and watch all eight hours of coverage, with preliminary races and Derby previews featured on ESPN from 11:00am to 4:00pm, followed by another three hours when they switch to NBC from 4:00pm to 7:00pm. Or, like most of us, you can tune in for the two minutes it’ll take to actually run the race. It’s your call. But don’t miss this… all kidding aside, it’s one of the greatest American sports traditions of all time.

#3 “Sugar” Shane Moseley vs. Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr.

When & Where?

Saturday at 9:00pm on HBO Pay Per View


There aren’t many true-blue “big” fights anymore in the world of boxing, but Saturday night’s welterweight bout between Moseley (46-5, 39KO’s) and Mayweather (40-0, 25KO’s) certainly qualifies as one of the big ones. Boxing has seen its popularity spiral in a constant decline in recent years, especially since the world of M.M.A. has taken to the scene, but for those who like a classic bout between two titans of the ring, tune in Saturday to watch them duke it out. That is, of course, if you can get your wife/girlfriend/significant other/mom/whatever to give you an advance on your allowance, since the fights come with a whopping $54.95 price tag attached.

#4 PGA’s Quail Hollow Championship

When & Where?

Saturday and Sunday at 3:00pm on CBS


This tournament will likely only have an entertaining finish if Tiger Woods is in the hunt for the top spot, and if his play Thursday is any indication, it’s not even a sure thing that Woods will be playing come Saturday and Sunday. Woods was nine shots back of the leader after the opening round, leaving him questionable to make the cut. Nonetheless, for you golf enthusiasts out there, there’s nothing like kicking back on the couch with a beer, late on a Sunday afternoon, and watching the final round of a PGA event.

#5 Red Sox vs. Orioles

When & Where?

Friday at 7:05pm, Saturday at 7:05pm, and Sunday at 1:35pm, all on NESN


After completing a sweep of the lowly Toronto Blue Jays this week, the Sox return to action in Sox Nation South, as they take on the Orioles at Camden Yards, a park where O’s fans seemingly go extinct when the Boston faithful take over their town. The Sox are finally back to a .500 record, but are still fighting to be relevant and appealing in a Boston sports landscape that still seems focused on the success of their winter sports franchises. But nonetheless, for you baseball diehards, a trio of games against the Orioles could be just what the doctor ordered to get the Sox up over the hump and back into early contention.

This Week’s “Off the Field” Pick: Family Guy’s 150th Episode

When & Where?

Sunday night at 9:00pm on FOX


Love it or hate it, “Family Guy” has had quite the rocky road to success over the years. Started way back in 1999, the often rude and lewd cartoon was booted by FOX after just three initial seasons, but because of overwhelming success in DVD sales and syndication, FOX brought back Seth MacFarlane’s creation and gave it a second life. 150 episodes later, Sunday night’s hour-long episode puts Brian and Stewie locked in a bank vault. Doesn’t sound all that funny on the surface, but I’m sure they’ll prove me wrong.

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One comment for “The Couch Potato Report: Celtics and Bruins Playoffs, Kentucky Derby”

  1. This should be a really useful column, thanks for the tips.

    Posted by Dan Davis | April 30, 2010, 8:03 pm

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