|Red Sox Clinch Division, Miss Opportunity for Home Field Advantage||The Red Sox Are the Hottest Team in Baseball||Fantasy Football Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em: Week 2, 2016||Connelly’s Top Ten: Hanley Wow! / Look Out for Suh / Spitting on National Anthem now a Fad!|
The Yankees won 14-3; what do you expect me to say? That’s a 24-6 loss over two days. Back under .500 again, the Red Sox (or Red Sux, depending on how angry you are) are going to screw up this season, and I for one won’t mind. There’s a lot of nauseating futility to go over here, so let’s get right to it:
Derek Jeter and Brett Gardner led off with singles, but a double play from Mark Teixeira helped Clay Buchholz escape unscathed.
Kevin Youkilis and Mike Lowell led off with singles, but a double play from Adrian Beltre got C.C. Sabathia out of it.
Yankees alternate Ramiro Pena doubled and Jeter walked. Singles by Teixeira and A-Rod drove in runs before Robinson Cano was gracious enough to ground into a double play.
Darnell McDonald homered over the Green Monster, and after Dustin Pedroia was hit by a pitch in retaliation for the night before, Victor Martinez did his best Darnell McDonald impression to give the Sox the lead.
Nick Swisher walked and Randy Winn reached on a throwing error by, who else? Adrian Beltre. Both runners advanced another base on the throw. Other Yankees alternate Francisco Cervelli singled in a run, with Winn out trying to score himself. Buchholz threw a ball at Jeter’s head, nearly hitting him before inducing a groundout.
Teixeira homered, and after a combination of singles and walks loaded the bases, Cervelli drove in another run, and Winn was out running the bases again, but this time stayed in the rundown long enough for a second run to score on the play.
With two outs and a 2-2 count to Victor Martinez, a rain delay was called.
The Phillies lost to the Braves 4-1 at home. After 1:14 worth of delay, the Sox moved from Fox to FX.
Sabathia’s mojo was thrown off by the long wait, and was replaced by Alfredo Aceves. To paraphrase the Soup Nazi, “NO WIN FOR YOU!!!”
Two singles did nothing for the Red Sox. Aceves (back) leaves in the middle of Jeremy Hermida’s at bat after awkwardly landing when completing a pitch.
Teixeira homered. Alex Rodriguez singled, stole 2nd, and scored on a single. After giving up the homer, Ramon Ramirez (arm) left the game after doing some unknown thing wrong to injure himself.
Two more singles did nothing for Boston.
Singles and walks loaded the bases for New York with two outs. Nick Swisher scored two with a single, Randy Winn walked, and Francisco Cervelli (this guy again?) plated two more with a single. The Yankees batted around.
Jonathan Van Every, an outfielder, took the mound (Nick Green, anyone?) Van Every gave up a double (Jeter) and a two-run home run (Teixeira) with a strikeout (Gardner) in between.
So what about the homers? Victor Martinez nearly threw it away in the 1st, which he would have if Pedroia wasn’t covering behind 1st base.
Pitching especially, but the team was just *bleck* all around.
“And I guess the plural of dove is doves. Maybe not. Maybe it’s one of them trick words. Maybe it’s dove. I think it’s dove. Tell those dove to keep their heads still.” – Fox annoucer Tim McCarver arguing with himself after some doves were spotting pecking the ground on the warning track in front of the left field pole.
W: Alfredo Aceves (3-0), by scorer’s decision
L: Clay Buchholz (3-3)