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The Couch Potato Report: Tiger is Near, Lock Up Your Daughters!

Tiger Woods (Image from

The unofficial end of summer is upon us, as the Labor Day weekend ushers in our last long weekend of good weather. Well, if you don’t count this cute little hurricane that’ll paying us a visit.

A lot of great things happen in the sports world in September. Major League Baseball’s pennant races heat up. The FedEx Cup tournaments in golf come down to the wire. Hockey’s elite lace up the skates for NHL training camp. But what matters most to Americans everywhere? Football. It’s back, baby! This weekend, the college pigskin kicks off across the country, and next week the big boys suit up for the NFL’s opening weekend. Something just feels right in the world now that football is back, doesn’t it? We’ve missed you so much!

But football’s not all the tube has to offer this weekend. And for that, we serve up this weekend’s edition of “The Couch Potato Report,” C.P.R. for your sports-lovin’ hearts.

#1 Meaningless Sox Games

When Is It On & Where Can I Find It?

Friday at 7pm, Saturday at 7pm, Sunday at 1:30pm, and Monday at 7pm, all on NESN

Why Should I Watch?

Because you’re a die-hard, card-carrying member of Red Sox Nation, that’s why! And Manny’s coming back to town, who could’ve predicted that? The Red Sox return home after a mediocre road trip that took them through Tampa and Baltimore. For the first three games of this homestand, Fenway faithful will get to watch some hot Sox on Sox action, as the BoSox host the ChiSox. This wouldn’t be all that interesting of a series normally, but after Monday’s acquisition of Manny Ramirez by Chicago, all of a sudden this series is worth some attention. After the White Sox are sent to the laundry (you like that?), the wild card leading Tampa Bay Rays come to town, kicking off their series on Labor Day evening on Yawkey Way. Wins by the Red Sox may be “too little, too late,” but who knows… crazier things have happened, right?

#2 College Football

When & Where?

All weekend long, on ESPN, ESPN2, NBC, CBS, ABC, Comcast Sportsnet, & Versus


The BCS system may make less sense than a drunken Mel Gibson tirade, but that doesn’t mean college football has lost any of its swagger as one of the most popular shows in town. The college football world started spinning Thursday night, with a small slate of action that included our first upset of a ranked team, with the Utes of Utah taking down #15 Pittsburgh in OT, 27-24. If that game’s a precursor to how this college football season is going to play out, as the great Keith Jackson would say, “Woah Nellie!” A full menu of games is available to tickle your tastebuds this weekend, with top-ranked teams like Florida, Texas, LSU, and TCU all in action. The weekend is capped off Monday night, with #3 Boise St. going cross-country to take on #10 Virginia Tech.

#3 PGA’s Deutsche Bank Championship

When & Where?

Friday & Saturday at 3pm on Golf Channel, Sunday at 3pm on NBC, and Monday at 2pm on NBC


It’s one of my favorite local events of the year. The best 100 golfers in the PGA come to Norton, MA this weekend to play the amazing TPC Boston golf course for this year’s Deutsche Bank Championship. All eyes are on Tiger Woods as always, as he tries to claim a spot in the top 70 of the FedEx Cup rankings, so he can play next week at the BMW Championship in Illinois. He comes into the tournament ranked 65th, which means any slip-up here and he could be homebound next week. Beyond Woods, every golfer is chasing FedEx Cup points leader Matt Kuchar, whose win last weekend in New Jersey at the Barclays tournament propelled him to the top of the rankings. As far as I can tell, there are still tickets available for all four days of the tournament, so if you want to get out and enjoy what should be great weather for golf, post-Earl of course, head down to Norton to soak in the action. On your way down, stop by the golfers’ hotel and wake up Jim Furyk, would you?

#4 U.S. Open Tennis

When & Where?

Friday at 1pm & 7pm on ESPN2, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday at 11am on CBS, Monday night at 7pm on ESPN2


Believe it or not, there are tennis fans out there, and for them, this is like their Super Bowl. Flushing Meadows in New York is the scene for the annual U.S. Open tennis tournament, which already seems like it’s been going on for about a month. From what I hear, there really hasn’t been any major upsets so far, but then again, I’m not really listening for any to begin with. Frankly, ever since beauties Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova dropped from tennis relevancy, I lost what little interest I had in watching tennis. But if you are a fan, there’s plenty of tennis to be had all weekend long, so eat it up.

#5 New England Revolution Soccer

When & Where?

Saturday at 7:30pm on Comcast SportsNet


Last week was the first time I gave the Revs some love in this weekly expose, and look, they took it on the chin, losing to the Philadelphia Union 2-1. So in an effort to reverse the “C.P.R.” curse, I won’t mention that the Revs host Drew Carey’s Seattle Sounders FC Saturday night at Gillette. I won’t mention that the Revs only have nine games left to make a run at an MLS playoff spot, with work to do as their 6-12-3 record isn’t going to cut it. But I’ll keep quiet on the Revs, with hopes that they turn it around this weekend against Seattle. I’ll hush now. Shhhhhh…

This Week’s “Off the Field” Pick: Jerry Lewis’s MDA Telethon

When & Where?

Begins Sunday night at 9pm on ABC


Comedy legend Jerry Lewis has frankly seen better days. But nonetheless, year after year on Labor Day weekend, he and the great people at the Musclar Dystrophy Association come together to raise awareness and money for people stricken with this awful disease and other neurological disorders. This year’s telethon marks the 45th year that Jerry Lewis has been involved with the Labor Day event, which started back in 1966 in New York City. Historic entertainers like John Lennon, Led Zeppelin, and Frank Sinatra have made the telethon the must-watch event of the holiday weekend each and every year. This year, the telethon will come to you from Las Vegas, which has played host to the telethon since 2006. In this article the past few months, I’ve taken this section and dedicated it to spreading the word about a few different charity events that have been out there for the taking, but none of them may have the history that the MDA Telethon has. While I haven’t suffered from muscular dystrophy myself, I have fought off another neurological disorder in my past, so I know that sufferers of these terrible diseases need everyone’s help to persevere. Take some time out of what should be a beautiful weekend to spend some time (and hopefully some money) supporting the great work of the MDA Telethon. There’s no doubt that your donation will go to a truly great cause.

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