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‘Twas Christmas at the Garden, and there was plenty of mirth.
But someone was missing: Jesus Shuttlesworth.
While the Celtics were happily giving each other gifts,
Ray Allen’s in Miami, playing on the Heat’s second shift.
Ray-ray left the Celtics; some found that uncouth.
Players like Kevin Garnett, and of course The Truth!
Garnett’s written off Allen, and now all but ignores him.
To Garnett, Allen’s efforts do nothing but bore him.
So when the C’s play Secret Santa, Allen’s off the list.
His old friends now focus on those still in their midst.
For Paul Pierce, the gift goes to Avery Bradley.
Pierce joked about new shoulders, which his teammate would take gladly.
KG remains quieter, his Secret Santa untold.
Garnett the gift-giver? From whence came this role?
“I want to focus on my Secret Santa,” he told WEEI.
Could it be Garnett’s actually a nice guy?
We’re all used to the maniac, bashing head
Against pads during warm-ups, filling his foes with dread.
But perhaps Garnett’s not crazy, perhaps he’s really quite kind.
And there’s a softy hidden inside KG that we just need to find.
Then again, likely not, as it’s best to remember:
Garnett’s nice to teammates, and not other teams’ members.
If you’re jersey isn’t green, if the Garden’s not your home.
Garnett would happily crush you with his head’s giant dome.
It matters not that Allen and Garnett once wanted the same things.
That they battled together, won a trophy and rings.
Now Allen’s on the Heat, and he plays for the bad guys.
And those left on the Celtics won’t pretend otherwise.
Pierce and Garnett want a title, and Miami’s in the way.
For unity, they can’t give Allen even the time of day.
Of course, none of this makes Allen’s decision to leave wrong.
Players and fans just don’t sing the same song.
Sports fans think that their needs still matter.
That despite better deals elsewhere, their favorites won’t scatter.
But that’s just not the case. That’s not how players behave.
Allen liked Miami’s offer better, so goodbye to Boston he waved.
Allen likely knew what his decision would cause.
He knew leaving Boston would put some friendships on pause.
So now the C’s ignore Allen, who has no one else to blame.
But hey, maybe he’ll get something from new friend Lebron James!