|Red Sox Clinch Division, Miss Opportunity for Home Field Advantage||The Red Sox Are the Hottest Team in Baseball||Fantasy Football Start ‘Em, Sit ‘Em: Week 2, 2016||Connelly’s Top Ten: Hanley Wow! / Look Out for Suh / Spitting on National Anthem now a Fad!|
You’ve seen the game, or read the recap, or scanned the box score, and have heard about and analyzed and digested and discussed the onslaught of Rays pitching changes, Farrell’s flip-flop pinch hit decisions, the X-factor Xander Bogaerts scoring the tying and insurance run anyway,Craig Breslow’s 4 Ks, Koji’s four-out save.
But have you read about Jonny Gomes’s helmet and Mike Napoli’s swim trunks? Wondered who is the old guy in the green shirt getting soaked in champagne? Analyzed the roster’s ability to shotgun a beer? Get lost with SoB in a minor black hole of Vine videos detailing the festivities in celebration of Boston’s 3-1 victory both in Game 4 and the ALDS…
Instant Analysis: Two things: How is there a “high five tunnel” that doesn’t involve Koji Uehara? That seems like a serious oversight. Also, David Ross is one excited dude. Listening with the sound on as it plays continuously in the background while I type this, all that stands out is his exclamatory “YEAHHH!!!” (It’s actually obnoxious.) Add in the double-fisted arm raise as if he’s breaking the ribbon at a finish line, and it’s golden.
Instant Analysis: Uehara makes for one awkward third wheel, and wait, what is Napoli wearing? No, not the swimsuit, the flip-flops with high socks. Complete with the shades, no less. Great Halloween costume, or greatest Halloween costume?
Instant Analysis: A) How much better of a nickname is “Ironsides” when Gomes is wearing the Army helmet? B) Wait, I think you missed a spot. A little higher. Make sure you get under my chin. A little to the left, now. A dab on top? Ahhh, theeeere we go.
Instant Analysis: Note to self: always use the goggles, especially during a self-champagne shower. David Ortiz forgoes the goggles to start, and by the time he slides them on, all he succeeds in doing on is to trap pools of bubbly in which to submerge his eyes. Based on Ortiz trying to wipe the stinging out of his eyes, it would appear something good is not happening.
Instant Analysis: It starts off innocuously enough – Gomes and Napoli pouring out waterfalls of cheap beer, then milling about with cheap beer in hand – until Stephen Drew starts pouring cheap beer over Gomes’s helmet for Gomes to lap up what trickles off. There isn’t really much to add to this Vine title, is what I’m trying to say. But seriously, how much of a BAMF is Gomes?
Instant Analysis: Not sure who the two older Red Sox staff members are, but they sure seem caught unawares. The gentlemen in the icy beer bath on his way to hypothermia (wow, I am getting old) is the bullpen catcher, Brian Abraham (hat tip to Gordon Edes). Pretty awesome moment, actually (even if all of them look like their weathering a storm, just waiting and hoping for calmer waters…and less frothy beer?).
Instant Analysis: Is it wrong that I want to have so much beer at my disposal so as to essentially have sat in a beer dunk tank? Aw, how cute are Clay Buchholz, John Lackey, and Jon Lester? Speaking of cute, shirtless Napoli, amirite? As much as the remaining college boy in me appreciates the celebratory gesture, it’s a disconcerting watching professional athletes shotgun Budweiser. It’s a little concerning when they do it with Game 1 of the ALCS in 3 days, but hey, why the heck not? It’s definitely weird that the official Boston Red Sox Vine account would post a circle of baseball players shotgunning beers (!) for the world to see. Worst of all, though, they seem to all be terrible at shotgunning! For shame, Clay Buchholz.
Instant Analysis: Instant analysis? That looks cold. And John Farrell? Enjoy the Bud heavy. You deserve it – perhaps along with a Manager of the Year award.
Good luck in the ALCS, Red Sox. We’ll be watching, and hoping to see another celebration like this. Only bigger, better, bubblier.