// author archive

Why Did the U.S. Soccer Team Fight?

If you were a bitter fan, you might be asking yourself that question right now. What was all of that for? Why’d we get excited? Is that IT? I’ve got good news and bad news for you, U.S. soccer fans. The bad news is that, despite Landon Donovan’s last-minute heroics in the Algeria game to […]

Tiger Woods Wins Associated Playa’s Playa of the Year Award

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Associated Playas, the planet’s largest organization of pimps and playas – as well as nymphos and maneaters, since the recent Supreme Court decision – is proud to offer its Playa of the Year award to none other than Tiger Woods, whose masterful swinging of the wood has inspired us all to […]

U.S. Won’t Have Enough Thunder to Storm World Cup

It’s happened again: The U.S. national team has qualified for the finals of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa and is currently ranked 11th in the world. For a nation that’s supposedly indifferent to the world’s game, that’s not a bad day’s work. This is a team with a lot to celebrate. They’re tops […]

The Sox are Down 0-2 and It’s All YOUR Fault

This was supposed to be a gimme, right? What folds faster than Superman on laundry day? The Angels in the playoffs, of course. The only bigger bunch of choke artists are our good friends, the Yankees. Let’s all get excited for that classic Boston – New York ALCS that we all love and most of […]

Patriots Outlast Ravens, 27-21

Tom Brady was coming off the back of two shaky outings in a row, and you don’t need me to tell you how rare that is. The defense that had lost multiple leaders and was looking eminently mortal. But, Tommie and the gang were back in business against a tough Baltimore Ravens defense, and even […]

Uncle Lester is Back: Sox Beat Indians 3-0

The collective brick-s**ting that occurred across New England last Friday after Melky Cabrera welted a line drive straight into Jon Lester’s knee ceased Thursday night as Lester handcuffed the Cleveland Indians to win 3-0. It was a reassuring performance for the Red Sox’s best starter of the second half as Boston looks to the post-season. […]

Sabathia Bests Dice-K in Tense Pitcher’s Duel

If you can call any game where the Sox lose to the Yankees a good one, this was it. Though the Yankees rode a devastating outing from C.C. Sabathia to beat the Red Sox 3-0 to clinch the final regular season series between the arch-rivals, there was an abundance of silver lining in this dark […]

Dice-K, Sox Pen Make Angels Look Like Baka Gaijin

It was a triumphant return to Fenway for Daisuke Matsuzaka, as the Japanese right-hander earned his second win of the year by shutting down the MLB-leading Angels offense through six innings. He looked, in fact, a lot like the Dice-K of old, frequently nibbling when ahead in the count, but gave up a grand total […]

Why Youk Whinin’? Shaughnessy Tells Us

After the usual boring intro in which he talks about Billy Mays, Ginsu knives, and goes “Hey look! Kevin Youkilis can play multiple positions,” everyone’s favorite Boston sports columnist breaks out his money quotes… “I’m just annoyed with the media as a whole,” [Youk] said. “People write stuff about players on this team throughout the […]

Globe Headlines Uncon-Vince-ing

(Speaking of unconvincing headlines…) I come from a print background, so I’m usually willing to give newspapers the benefit of the doubt over apparent mistakes. I think newspapers are still the most journalistic-savvy of the major media, and they’re about the only ones left that do any actual reporting. Still, they occasionally fall down in […]

Existentialsim: Sox beat Sox, 12-8

While it’s rarely a Sartre-worthy occasion when the Red Sox and the White get together, this evening’s contest wasn’t as close as the scoreline indicates. The Red Sox’ dominant 12-8 win marked a hard-learned lesson gleaned from the previous series’ defeat: Sometimes, you’ve got to win ugly. Chicago’s southsiders took the first lead, but were […]

What, Me Worry? Sox Sweep to 8-1 Victory Over Jays

At the outset, it looked to be another example of the maddening inconsistency plaguing Boston baseball. The Red Sox went quietly in the top of the first, and the Jays drew first blood, against no less a personage than lefty assassin Jon Lester. “Oh god,” I thought after three innings, “we may have tied the […]

Sox Can’t Grind Out Win in Texas Tie-Breaker

When Branch Rickey said that baseball was a game of inches, he knew what he was talking about. The Red Sox lost 4-3 in Texas Sunday; a tense, momentum-volleying game that would have seemed to the Sox of earlier this season, easily winnable. The Red Sox simply lacked sharpness in every phase of the game. […]

Red Sox Very Clean, Get Swept by Yankees

Perhaps the plane tickets were wrong. Perhaps there was some baggage-related mix-up. Whatever happened, the Red Sox offense never arrived in New York, losing the fourth game of this crucial late-season series to the Yankees 5-2. Damon and Teixeira’s back-to-back home runs in the eighth inning — off Daniel Bard, no less — may have […]

The Chronicles of Reddick

Josh Reddick drank of the dirty water and found it good. The first time he made the Red Sox starting lineup, he smoked two doubles and acted like he was a veteran, who’d been here for years. The next time, he hit his first big league home run, and conspicuously failed to act like a […]